Please note: I wrote the following, as is often the case, because I need to hear it. Sometimes, we must remind ourselves of simple facts.
Once I grew up (last week), I realized that everyone struggles with parts of themselves that they are reluctant to share with the public at large. Hmm, perhaps "everyone" is too broad a stroke. It does appear that there are those of us who don't seem to give a flying fig or a spinning turnip (come on, why not?) what anyone thinks. Ever heard of Walmartians? I rest my case. For the remainder of us though, revealing ourselves is a terrifying prospect. Some of us would rather have several teeth pulled during a rectal exam while having our heads shaved, than actually expose even a tiny part of our innermost self. Sorry for the visual. I am so not speaking from personal experience (per se) it’s merely an example to illustrate how terrified we can be. Totally sad. How is it that we can walk among each other, sit next to each other at work or on a bus and not let people see who we are? The really sad thing? Some people don’t even know that they’re hiding. Um, me? I’m slightly (hah!) normalcy challenged. I spent many, many years trying to cover up what others deemed “odd” about me. Covering up doesn’t usually work, because my strangeness seems to have a way of popping out (helloooooo) at the most inconvenient of times.
I actually don’t feel strange, but then crazy people never think they’re crazy either, right? Logic aside, in my maze-like brain, I’m normal for me. Being “different” or just plain old weird isn’t something I try to do. I just came that way. Maybe there was a special on weirdness while I was in the womb, and my mother being a compulsive shopper, just couldn't pass up that deal.
Will she ever please get to the point??? Okay, here’s my point. I realize that this isn’t news to anyone, but in never hurts to validate: we are all weird in our own weird little ways. And you know what? That truly is the best fu*king part of us. That’s the part, we need to let out of the flipping box. It works best in writing, music, art of any type, cooking, whatever. What you think of as your "weirdness," that secret self you try so hard to contain, may not speak to everyone. However, it will have an audience, because what people really dig is authenticity. Yeah, yeah I know it doesn’t always mean something. The IRS doesn’t give a spinning turnip (see, it does work!) if you’re authentic as long as you pay your dang taxes. But if you want people to enjoy the dinner you cook or buy that book you’re selling, being authentic will come in handy.
Share the real you with your public, even if your public is only a few close friends, your family, and several crickets. Without the essential “you,” what is there to your music, poetry, novel, painting, or dinner party? Technique? How empty and utterly boor-ing. And you are so definitely not empty or boor-ing.
 |
| My goth is showing, but wasn't Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice an excellent character? "...the living ignore the strange and unusual, I myself am strange and unusual..." |
