So, he's a bit crazy (but not in the good way, like me, my husband, and my friends!) and a lot controlling. Sound familiar? I bet. He's difficult, changes his mind on how he wants me to handle things, and often I feel bad about myself because of the way he speaks to me and treats ("treat"?? it's definitely NOT a treat!!) me. Example? He throws rubber bands, paper clips, and Post-Its on the floor of his office for me to pick up. I've been working for him for over 5-years. I didn't start yesterday. I came to this company with well over 10-years experience in (bleech) office work. I've been around the block a few times, okay? I'm not a "newbie." Yet, at times he will go into long, complicated explanations on how to send a fax. Seriously? Is this really a good use of my time? Yeah, I know he's paying me, so what the hell? But you know it doesn't stop there, folks. It's not like he recognizes the fact that he's taken up 20 to 30 minutes of my time up explaining something that doesn't need explanation...he'll then ask me if I've written up that subcontract or followed up on such-and-such. Oh really? And when was I supposed to do that?? Whatever!!!!
How did I end up at this company? It's just him and I (he and I? me and him? whatever). When I started here, there were about 10 employees. The man who hired me is the son of the man I work for now. The son is the son-in-law of my best pal, who I've known for well over 20-years. Close call, eh? I like to play everything close to the heart. Just to make it reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly complicated and difficult. Why not? What? Have I got something better to do with my time? Hah!
Those 10 employees? All left or laid off. The company has been hit pretty hard by this economy (the easy explanation, but there's only so much room in this little box). Yeah, and the son who hired me? Doesn't work for the company (i.e. his father) anymore. He left because he didn't want to work with his father anymore (again, the easy explanation, for expediency's sake). Oh, and the "best friend"? Not my friend anymore. We had an earth-shattering-blow-the-f**k-out-hum-dinger and haven't spoke in almost a year. I may or may not explain this further in a separate blog.
After the son left? As you might imagine, working with the dad was no frolic through Lollypop Land. Anger and hurt-feelings abound, and who was there as the whipping boy? Yep, lucky me!! That evened out. He got less angry. Father and Son patched things up, but son is still out on his own. Good for him, I say. But...as to me, I find myself working for this man at a job like so many others. I've always tried to take "ownership" at my work. Makes me a great employee. I take responsibility. I'm willing to bend over backwards and basically contort myself into whatever shape my employer asks of me and I've been able to do this while essentially maintaining my integrity. Pretty amazing, huh? The catch? There is always a catch, right? This all takes its toll, man. This year...well, it's been rough. You cannot repress the emotions that I have over the years and not pay a price. I've come through that, though and I'm finding my way through to the other side.
One of the things I've realized? This isn't MY FREAKING DREAM! Who cares what this man wants me to do or how he wants me to do it? This is HIS dream. I'm just helping him out the best I can, to support his dream and in exchange for this I get a paycheck. The paycheck helps pay the bills, until I can get MY OWN DREAM to start paying those dang bills. That's what is getting me through the work day now. When the Boss starts getting up my nose, my mantra is...not my dream...not my dream...not my dream. And it's working. Amen, Sisters and Brothers.