Note: As always I’m yammering at myself here. This is what I need to tell myself right now. In condensed (hah!) form, of course.
No matter how simple and straightforward a project appears to be, it almost never turns out that way. At least, not for me. I suffer from what I call the “Can of Worms Syndrome” or COWS. Perhaps you too suffer from COWS. What is COWS? Glad you asked.
Projects, tasks, goals, or whatever-the-heck-you-end-up-pulling-out-of-the-Great-Grab-Bag-of-Life just love to disguise themselves in Simple’s Clothing. Underneath that Simple though, lurks Purely Complicated. I don’t particularly care for complicated, but I won’t run from it. I’m far too stubborn. But honestly, really, and truly I don’t actively seek it out, either. “Complicated” has a way of finding me.
Could it be my penchant for looking deeper? I rarely take things at face value. “Face value” seems meaningless to me and perhaps even unrealistic. I mean, you can slap a band-aid on anything and maybe even stop the bleeding, but what is going on underneath that band-aid? Did you clean the wound before applying the band-aid? Shouldn’t we put on some ointment, too? Isn’t healing the goal?? And crap! Does that need stitches??? Questions. I’m full of them.
I’m not saying that I don’t like to indulge in the occasional Sail Along the Surface (ahhh nice) or grab a box of mind candy (yum) once-in-awhile. Not everything has to be deep. Good grief, if that was the case I’d be a lunatic. I’ll rephrase, shall I? I’d be more of a lunatic. Look, I enjoy mind-candy just as much as the next person; however, mind candy doesn’t move me. And what is the freaking point if we’re not going to be moved, passionate, and alive? That reminds me, I believe I’ve meandered off my point. Where was I? Complicated.
I’m running my own business now. Well, “running” may be too strong of a word. More like just trying to keep it from crashing into stuff. Plus, it’s brand new so maybe it’s actually more like trying to get the engine to turn over and not really being sure if there is an engine. I probably need to build one. Crap. You see! Complicated. In fact I’ll go as far (why not?) as to say that starting a business is just one way of shouting to the world, “I have COWS and I can’t help myself,” because a business is surrounded by cans of worms. I can’t move for stepping into another one. First it was the Creating A Fabulous (No Pressure) Website, then on to the Great Paper Dilemma, now it's the E-Store Extravaganza. It’s tiresome, annoying, scary, sometimes angrifying, and often an incredibly exhilarating ride. What’s an Opener of the Can of Worms to do?
Here's the thing: I’m not afraid of the mess that opening a can of worms is going to make. Generally there’s some dirt nearby that can use aerating. And yes, worms are wiggly and a bit strange, but then, so are some of my most favorite people. The can is not going to go away by ignoring it (damn).
Crap and double crap. I don’t really have a choice, do I? I have to keep opening the blasted things and do my best to deal with the ensuing entanglements and sheer complicated messiness. I didn’t really think this was going to be easy, did I? Of course not.
My fellow sufferers of COWS, I suppose we could wish that those Cans of Worms don’t exist or if they do, that we simply can’t see them. Wouldn’t that be refreshing? Nah, not really. That's sort of like wishing for a lobotomy. And as much of a pain in the a*s my brain is to me (and others) at times, I really wouldn’t want to part ways with her (it?). Not yet, anyway.
